As sunlight filtered in through the window that I stupidly didn't cover with my curtains, I groggily opened my eyes and then stared at the clock. It shone, almost happily, that it was 6 in the morning. I half growled at it and then closed my eyes again, covering my head with the blankets.
It was starting to get too hot to sleep with blankets, but they were good for blocking out annoying sunlight. I don't honestly know if I fell asleep or not, I only remember the alarm going off at 6:30. I smashed the snooze button and tried to rest for another 9 minutes. The alarm began to tell me to wake up again at 6:39 and I used the snooze button until it was 6:57.
Finally, I got up and changed, (sorta) brushed my hair, washed my face, and headed down for breakfast. True to her word, my mother had really gone overboard with the diet thing. It was fruits and low-fat yogurt for breakfast. I wondered where she had gotten all this, but it would surprise me if she had woken up at 3 to go shopping for food. She sometimes did crazy things like that.
I ate a whole plate of fruit and a low-fat vanilla yogurt and slunk back into my room to get my backpack and books. I'd forgotten to stick my books back into my bag the night before, so I just stuffed them in quickly, not really caring if the papers were completely mauled in the process.
Saying goodbye to my mother, I walked to school, trying to ignore the stares on the way to the school. Most of the time, it was pretty easy to ignore the stares.
It was hard at first to pretend that nothing was going on, but I'd gotten used to it quickly. If one showed that they were uncomfortable, they were attacked verbally and physically. Since I dressed like a boy, the other boys would attack me for dressing like a boy and treat me like a boy in some aspects. They weren't afraid to hit me, which was kind of a good sign since they usually had a policy about not hitting girls. It was confusing sometimes. They treated me like it was wrong to dress like a guy (even though I didn't feel like a girl and knew I was a boy inside) but beat me up like a guy. It didn't make sense sometimes.
Once at school, I headed off to homeroom and dumped my backpack next to my desk. There was a circle of desks around mine that was always empty. Everyone always took a seat that wasn't next to mine. The school was way too conformist for my liking. The principal had even threatened to throw me out if I didn't change back to "girl clothes." I had ignored her and my parents had pleaded with him that I was just "going through a phase" and would grow out of it soon. Fat chance of that.
I wanted to get a gender change ASAP. Being in a girl's body was...strange and foreign. Before I realized that I was a boy, I had always felt like something was wrong. When I finally realized I was a boy, and not in fact lesbian, everything changed. I then understood why I had felt so out of place with the girls and comfortable with the guys. This was in around 5th grade, before we moved to here. I changed everything during the summer and on the first day of school...let's just say I nearly gave several teachers heart attacks.
The homeroom teacher gave a little speech about joining the a capella groups as I spaced off. I would rather die than sing for an a capella group. I was told I had a good voice, and I had even had a voice teacher for a half a year before the poor woman got fed up with me. It wasn't my decision, it was my mother's. I just didn't comply or listen to the woman's wishes. The woman was able to tolerate me for a half a year before she gave up. I don't even remember her name now, but I couldn't care less.
At the bell, I waited for all the other students to swarm out before standing up and walking out the door. I made my way to my first class of the day, algebra II, and then sitting down at my assigned seat. The people who sat near me were scooted as far away as possible from me. Inwardly, I gave a shrug. It was usual for this to happen.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, and as it got closer and closer to last block, I found myself itching to get out and meet Daphne. I couldn't concentrate on my classes at all. I mean, I normally didn't pay attention, but that was of my own will. That day, I couldn't pay attention even if I wanted to.
When the bell rang for last block, I once again waited for the others to leave and then quietly made my way out, alone.
I jogged my way home, backpack bouncing up and down behind me and digging into my shoulders. Once again, I was sweaty and my mother made me take a shower after eating an apple.
Flopping into my desk chair, I looked at the time. It was 3:20. If I was lucky, I could get some homework done before I left the house at 3:45. I probably only needed to have 5 minutes to get to Daphne's house, but I wanted some extra time just in case I got lost. It did happen, though not very often. I had a fairly good sense of direction. When Kathy asked me how to get to places, it was like a giant map formed in mid-air in front of me and I could tilt the map any way I wanted to see places. I just...knew.
I set off to do my homework and did so until I felt as if around 25 minutes had passed. (I managed to do 2 out of 8 homework assignments.) When I looked at the clock however, I found it was already 3:55. Panicking, I half tripped over my chair in my haste to get out the door. Half way down the hall, I realized I probably needed some sewing needles and cloth to show Daphne how to sew. Taking those and some other items, I once again rushed out the door and down the stairs. As I ran through the kitchen and out the door, my mother shouted after me that ladies should move gracefully and quietly. I ignored it.
I must have looked very strange, a girl dressed in boy clothes with sewing tools running down the street. Although, I don't recall anyone in particular staring at me. I made it to Daphne's house just as my watch beeped for 4 o'clock. Calming myself down, I took several deep breaths before ringing Daphne's doorbell.
"Hello." A man, I assumed it to be her father, opened the door.
"I'm looking for D-" I stopped. "Noah." I finished. I don't know if she had come out to her parents yet and I wasn't about to reveal it for her.
"And you are?"
"I'm Ja-Jona."
"Jay-Jona?"
"Jona."
"Nice to meet you Jona, I'm Noah's father."
"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. ..." Daphne had never told me her last name so currently I was without a clue as to how I should address her father.
"You can call me Mike." He said, seeing my dilemma. I gave a sigh of of relief.
"It's nice to meet you Mike." He offered a hand and I took it, shaking his hand firmly and meeting his eyes as I was trained to do. His eyes twitched slightly in surprise then he let go of my hand and turned around into the house.
"Noah!" he called into the building.
"Yes, dad?" she called back. It felt so strange for her to be called Noah. Her voice was a little deeper when she talked to her parents, but it still had that beautiful chiming tone that entranced me.
"Jona's here!" Daphne appeared next to her dad.
"Thanks dad!" she called as she rushed out the door, dragging me along.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
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